Celebrating Linda Murray,
shared at the Celebration of Life of Linda Murray on Jan 20, 2018, at Neil Bardal Funeral Centre, Winnipeg,
by Rev. Ha Na Park, Immanuel United Church, Linda's home congregation
After one service last October, a woman came to me and looked at me and said, “My name is Linda Murray. I’ve been quiet, so you may not know me. I am a retired minister.” I was delighted to hear that because I really like to meet my colleagues in ordered ministry; I have great respect for senior ministers - not because of their age but because of their life-inspired wisdom. Linda said, “You will need to tell me what this means,” pointing to the logo on my Korean stole (which I’m wearing today).
“It’s the logo of the P.R.O.K., the denomination where my husband came from,” I answered. She, then, asked me the details of the meaning of the logo - the colour, the circle. I couldn’t explain them very well, but that moment, we both knew that we had an affinity, and it would be great to have lunch together and get to know each other more. That’s what we did; that’s how our connection started to grow. Linda and I developed a strong mutual curiosity and appreciation about each other since then.
Our first meeting at the nice restaurant in McNally Robinson helped me get to know Linda beyond her simple self-introduction as a retired minister. Her first question was about whether I had been feeling safe at Immanuel about giving my Sunday messages, “With both my strength and vulnerability, openly and freely.”
She asked, “How did people respond?”
I said, “I feel very safe and supported. In fact,” I continued, “After the difficult time of last Spring and through the summer, I transformed. Before, I was often not feeling safe. I was afraid of sharing my real thoughts, but I am not afraid any more. I went through a hard time, I tested myself, and I learned that there’s no real danger, as long as I am confident about myself and what I believe. I am only determined to speak and share about my truth, and even when I do, I see that I am still safe. Now I know my sense of safety is not determined by outside conditions. I am very happy about this change.”
When I finished my reflection, I saw Linda in tears, in deep emotion – an amazing gift of openness, on her part. Then, it was her turn: she shared her deep truth about ministry. It was an amazing time. I looked at my new ministry in the reflection of Linda’s ministry. Linda looked at her past ministry in the reflection of my sharing. Through her sharing, I learned that Linda was a feminist. She experienced transformation when she went to a seminary in the US to study briefly and met a few radical feminists, and feminist theologians. Linda pioneered in women’s issues and LGBTQ ordination in the UCC in the 80’s and 90’s.
She shared about those times when she felt unsafe because of her beliefs and actions, and about the questions she answered, the risks she took. When we checked our watches, more than three hours had passed over our simple lunch of French onion soup. Linda’s wisdom ignited my interest; she was the sort of person who would thoroughly engage another person through her endless passion, commitment and intelligence.
The mutual ignition of curiosity continued. We became so excited to learn more about each other and our ministry at Immanuel. I am not going to share all the amazing words of encouragement I received from her, but what I most appreciated was when she said, “Your preaching makes me want to return to school and study the Bible afresh and anew.”
When I met her again in December, at Wolseley, she said, “How did others respond to your last message? If I don’t understand queer theology, there’s not many (actually she said, “no one”) who can understand it in the congregation. I know what queer means but tell me more about what queer theology is about.”
That afternoon, to keep our meeting, Linda “pushed herself out the door.” as she was already ill and lacked energy that day. I saw her commitment and persistence, there, given to just one person in total faithfulness. Linda was strong and willing. We made some promises to each other about our journey of learning. Linda ordered some books I had encouraged her to read. She was a seeker of the best things in life: something we find in each other’s humanity - or even in the sparkle of the divine in one another. I will forever cherish the last note we exchanged at her bedside in the ICU.
I silently grieved for the loss of Linda. When you have found such a sense of promise in relationships that foster spiritual growth and journeys of learning, it is painful to know that the journey, at least on earth, has ended.
I still silently grieve and I know that this grief is a true indicator of how I was honoured and privileged to know Linda even it was for such a short time. The impact of Linda’s presence was, and is, something that will not be erased in our lifetimes.
What I learned through the weeks after Christmas Eve, (that was when she was admitted to the hospital), was that though I may be the last person who received her amazing mentorship and friendship, I am far from being the only one. As soon as the news spread that Linda was sick, her friends, especially United Church female ministers, contacted me, asking how she was doing. Linda was a mentor, coach and passionate friend to so many people, teaching and sharing her wisdom, insight and compassion.
As in the reading from Isaiah 40: 25-31, Linda embodied the power of love and compassion for the weak, as she was empowered by her God who gives strength to her.
The Rev. Linda Murray: beloved, artist of life, good neighbour, feminist, passionate friend, aunt, sister, mentor, ministering to all who she cared for and loved, is now one with God and God’s wavelength of love which still evolves and is creating with the world, bound to God’s justice.
Gerry, I imagine that Heaven for Linda is like this, which she wrote in a letter she sent to her friends and family members last November: “At this point, Maui will always be there. One day we will be there with the turtles.” May Linda rest in peace and, in her own words, “Leap with joy” in our Creator’s eternal realm of love and brilliant life.
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