So – General Council 43 - Friday night, what happened? How did it happen? Why did it happen?
Paul Wal-fall, one of the Intercultural Observers, gave a speech about interculturalism. It was a powerful demonstration about where we are and how we are doing as an intercultural church, poignantly addressing the persistence of racism within the United Church. He suggested concrete examples and used the metaphor of the Table. He asked us to ponder the four questions: “Who is missing from the table?” “Who are you at the table?” “What is my place at the table?” “What am I doing at this table?” Paul said,
Our Conference President, Dr Kathy Yamashita, a woman of Japanese descent, reminded us that we should take note of who is missing from the table. Someone then reminded us that we are an Intercultural church and therefore that may not be as pressing now as it once was. But you know, I have been reflecting on the question, “Who is missing from the table?” For in many ways, I now wonder if that is the real question to be asking. I am now very conscious that simply being at the table may be good, but it is not all that we may want to crack it up to be. The real issue seems to be “Who are you at the table?” If I am at the table as your guest, then I am there to take whatever you put before me. I would hope that you will consider my needs but really you do not have to. I am at this table simply as a guest. If I am at the table because you are taking pity on me, then even more so, I take whatever I get.
But if you put me at the children’s table then while I am a member of the family you would have taken away from me any right to speak about what I need. I have no way of influencing the menu.
But if you have me there as an adult and responsible member of the family, then I have a right to participate not only in the eating of the meal. I would then have the right to participate in the creation of the menu and in the preparation of the meal itself.
The issue for me is no longer about who is missing from the table, but it is also about what is my place at the table. If you have accepted me there simply to tell me that I must accept what I get, then simply being at the table is not all that we have made it out to be. So, what am I doing at this table?” (The end of the quote)
Later, Paul told the others that he made this speech after his time was pushed back and delayed, delayed and delayed on the agenda because we were running late. He said to Allan Buckingham, in the Business Team, “The later you put me, the more no one will hear what I will say.”
I ask…, What was I doing at the table at GC 43 on that Friday night? Truly, the more proper question would be how and what I was doing at the table at GC 43, all day on that Friday, because for me the process of thinking and feeling in intercultural terms already started on that Friday morning. I began to feel deep pain, anger and agony welling up in my eyes – my heart had been pounding since that morning. On Friday, because we were running late, the Business Team decided to change how the commissioners would decide on each motion to have things move on more effectively. Due to this change being made, I was affected by the situation. I was not able to address the concern that caused deep pain in me and shook me and upset me because conversation was not encouraged. We were running late, we had to make so many decisions all within just one day (the last day) — which were originally supposed to be done over the full three days. Time being short, the Facilitation team was not able to provide us with a summary of what people talked about in their discussion sessions before the plenary decision-making session took place. Therefore, I was not prepared for what was coming - a word that would be so triggering to me emotionally and spiritually. On the motion: Racism, Racial Discrimination, Racial Justice and White Privilege (Origin: Alberta and Northwest Conference.) I heard some people mention that having the word ‘Racism’ in the name of the motion would make others defensive, therefore, we need to take it out.
I was struck by this comment, deeply affected, but didn’t know what to do – we had been pushed to move on. Later I had a quick chance to check in with another racialized member, and that conversation helped me to be connected to my truth. I began to talk to others about my concern that we didn’t get enough time to talk about the things that could affect the racialized members. I talked to the General Secretary about my concern, who responded, saying that this is a way better process than GC had ever had recently. I talked to Paul during the break. He said, “I heard you.” I got curious when I heard his name called, and saw him walk up to the stage to make his intercultural speech. Of course, he didn’t mention my story, but I appreciated his powerful speech. What was very interesting to me was that people applauded after his speech, loved it, found it powerful, and then we moved on with the agenda. Because we had to finish our meeting in time, because dinner was waiting. Then, God’s amazing spirit struck us. Two people, Penny Nelson and her friend, walked to the plenary center, deeply emotionally filled, used the point of personal privilege, and submitted a new motion to ask forgiveness to the racialized members for how we do our work at the table. I was so shaken in that moment, my body shook so hard, physically, that others in distance could see me in pain. Another racialized clergy male member who was sitting at the next table came to me and asked, “Are you ok?” with a warm, pained, concerned face. He seemed to be also deeply affected, sad and concerned. Other commissioners began to gather close to me and laid their hands on my shoulder. When I was settled a little bit, I went directly to the one of the mikes, ready to share. Many racialized and indigenous members, and members with disabilities lined up to share their stories, abandoning the rush of the day’s schedule, for the following two hours. Our dinner was late at 9 pm, but it was more than worth it.
Here’s one story: Paul Wal-fall did mention in his speech about one black female minister’s experience. She was told by a search committee that they did not hire her because the congregation was not ready for a female minister but, less than a month afterwards, had recommended a White female minister to the congregation. That night, she came up to the mike and informed the plenary that that’s her story, and I was surprised, because she is one of the most alive, intelligent, excellent, creative clergy that I know. Later I sent her an email expressing my personal thanks, and shared that I had a similar experience. In 2014, I finished my Student Supply Internship, as a solo minister that had served a congregation in rural BC for two years. I was extravagantly loved by that congregation. Of course, there were challenges and tension that I went through, which may have partly stemmed from the fact that I lacked white privilege in a very white community. When they began the search process for a new minister, I got a phone call from someone on the search team to tell me that many were shaken and upset during a meeting, when one of the young leaders said, “We don’t want another.” What happened was that they had received an application from a Korean female minister.
Well, I know. It is a safe story to tell, because it happened in BC. But I have many unsafe stories that happened here, in our Presbytery. Someone in the leadership told me, (I understand and appreciate their intention: to help me realize the situation through a sort of shock effect, I think), I was called because I was cheap.
Last October, I sent a letter to the Executive, which I named, “Proposing Inter-racial Ministry” and commented, “The purpose of sharing this letter is not actually to propose anything, but I hope that the Executive might have a conversation and theological reflection around this.” I didn’t know well enough at that time to initiate a conversation more effectively, so I am aware of my flaws. But the response I got was …that the Executive members felt “unsafe, threatened and attacked” by my letter.
I really wondered how that piece of writing could have the power to make others feel that way, but if it did, I am sorry. I learned that everyone needs to know that they are loved, and that’s the ground you need to lay for every conversation. Yet, there are risks people need to make and also learn to accept the unintended consequences of those risks. I ended up initiating a few conversations with the leadership, and as a result, I had some good, honest, candid conversations. I thank my colleagues for that. But what I learned not only confirmed my worries, but also shocked me. I learned that in this presbytery, some of us, racialized members, were perceived to be Others who are not capable of doing the job, not familiar with the task. Therefore, they are not called and included at the table. In the spring, I submitted three proposals to the Executive, addressing concerns that the Executive does not practically manifest diversity (especially racial diversity). I wanted to advocate for increased diversity not just to ensure visible, fair representation; I do it because I am concerned about the “menu”: Who chooses the menu, and the outcomes for those choices? I also sent a proposal on organizing a half-hour Intercultural Workshop during a Presbytery meeting, because I really believed how we would end would influence how we would begin anew (in the new region.) Neither of my proposals made it through. The reason the Executive gave me was because the presbytery was “winding down.”
Paul Wal-Fall said, “In many ways I now wonder if “Who is missing from the table?” is the real question to be asking.” I am glad that I will meet Paul again in person as we are both on the General Council Executive and will have our meeting this weekend. To Paul, I would say, yes. That is the real question to be asking. Sadly, there are many places yet where this first Table question still needs to be asked and answered — especially in regards to female foreign-born clergy or others who have intersectional identities. These questions, Who is missing from the table, What am I doing at this table demand a proper process for better intercultural engagements and truer hospitality.
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