Sermon: Who are you at the table?
Scripture: The story of Syro-pheonician woman (Mark 7: 24-29)
“How do you Cook Chicken, Friends?” was so fun. Thanks to all who offered their answers.
I listened to Paul Douglas Walfall share this story personally, when I attended the 43rd General Council in Ottawa, in 2018. He was invited to be there as one of the two Intercultural Observers. It was the final day of the week-long United Church national gathering, which many people now recall as “The Friday night.”
Paul later told other people that he made this speech after his time was pushed back, and delayed, delayed, postponed and postponed again on the agenda. He said to the Business Team, “The later you put me, the more no one will hear what I will say.” Finally, the tiny (token) time slot was injected for the Intercultural Observer.
Paul stood at the podium and asked four questions:
“Who is missing from the table?”
“Who are you at the table?”
“What is my place at the table?”
“What am I doing at this table?”
Here are some stories and excerpts from Paul’s Friday Night speech.
Quote. “One of my white colleagues said to me, ‘You know when I see you, Paul, I do not see the colour of your skin, I just see a person.’” To that, Paul answered, “If what you say is true, then you have rendered me invisible. Invisible because you are not seeing who I am.”
Quote. “I also felt invisible [during GC 43] because, to date, I have yet to hear in the Council an acknowledgement that racism exists in our church and that the experiences of racism felt by every Black person within the United Church of Canada are real.”
For example, “If you had listened [to our story], you would have heard the experience of the Black minister who was told by the congregation that he speak up and take whatever the church gives because it was out of pity that they took him from his poor country to be with them in Canada.”
“You would have heard the story of the female minister who had the experience of members not shaking her hand at the end of the service because they did not want a Black minister in the first place.”
“You would have heard the story of the Black female minister told by a search committee that they did not hire her because the congregation was not ready for a female minister, but less than a month afterwards had recommended a White female minister to the congregation.”
“There are so many more stories I could add,” Paul said.
“The third experience occurred in our conference executive meeting October, 2018, and our conference president, Dr. Kathy Yamashita, a woman of Japanese descent, reminded us that we should take note of who is missing from the table. Someone, then, reminded us that we are an intercultural church and therefore that may not be as pressing now as it once was.
But you know, I have been reflecting on the question, “Who is missing from the table?” For in many ways, I now wonder if that is the real question to be asking.
I am now very conscious that simply being at the table may be good, but it is not all that we may want to crack it up to be. The real issue seems to be “Who are you at the table?”
If I am at the table as your guest, then, I am there to take whatever you put before me. I would hope that you will consider my needs but really, you do not have to. I am at this table simply as a guest. If I am at the table because you are taking pity on me, then even more so I take whatever I get. …
If you put me at the children’s table, then, while I am a member of the family, … I might not always get the right to influence the menu.
But if you have me there as an adult and responsible member of the family, then, I have a right to participate not only in the eating of the meal, I would then have the right to participate in the creation of the menu and in the preparation of the meal itself.”
“The issue for me is no longer only about who is missing from the table, but it is also about what is my place at the table. If you have accepted me there simply to tell me that I must accept what I get, then simply being at the table is not all that we have made it out to be. So, what am I doing at this table?
After Paul’s speech, a tremendously awe-struck, spirit-filled moment arose. Many racialized and Indigenous members and members with disabilities lined up to share their stories, abandoning the rush of the day’s schedule and agenda, for the following two hours. Our dinner was late at 9 pm, but this healing of the Friday Night, just like the Syropheonician woman’s question and challenge, made a turning point in the journey of the United Church, powerful enough to create the wider consensus and momentum necessary to make this church anti-racist.
Now, this is my pitch: Look at racism and patriarchy, racism and sexism together for racialized and Indigenous members who are women. Today’s story of the Syropheonician woman is a great story to tell, even in the 21st century, even in Canada, even in the United Church.
So many times, even now, some people are missing from the table, because they are not just racialized; they are also women. (It IS a REAL question.) The sword of inclusion is an imprecise instrument. When an organization needs racialized members for diversity, often male racialized members are favoured. Meanwhile, it’s not always guaranteed that Racialized women will be invited to join the White female senior leadership of an organization, because they are not White women. Racialized women are often marginalized from the dinner table, cooking table. Being female is one hurdle, something extra to deal with. Being Racialized is another hurdle on top of the first: an extra challenge.
That has been my pitch in recent years, since I was awakened to realize this simple intersection: racism and patriarchy; racism and sexism; racism and misogyny. It’s an intersection, because when you are hit by implicit bias, stereotypes, exclusion or marginalization, it’s difficult, in the moment, to know what just happened — was it racism? Was it sexism? Was it patriarchy? Was it disability? Or all of that?
Let’s listen to the story of the Syropheonician woman. This person is a Phoenician from Syria. There’s no other marker of social status other than being a Gentile and the mother of a daughter. In the previous chapter, when Jairus, the Jewish Synagogue leader, asked Jesus to heal his family member, Jesus immediately went with him to his house. Then, later, Jesus, of his own initiative, healed the Gentile man who called himself Legion. (This Gentile man did not even ask for Jesus’ healing.) The only different social status marker between the Gerasene man and the Syropheonician woman (both are Gentiles) is that this Syropheonician person is a woman making an unconventional request.
Stereotyped, disempowered, met with prejudice.
The Syropheonician woman’s experience is the experience of racialized and Indigenous women.
Now, let’s think about racialized women who are immigrants — racialized women who speak English as a second or third language. Now it is a triple hurdle.
I would not want to say it is a language “barrier”. Instead, I would emphasize that it is a “hurdle”. Hear me out. What do we really need to make genuine, safe, warm human connection and communication between two people?
A barrier looks like this (Show the pictures of a barrier).
Impenetrable. The image of a barrier already presumes the challenge is unmovable, prohibitive, frustrating. It’s often used by the culturally dominant to excuse themselves for not trying to understand others.
In my faith, language is a hurdle. (Show the pictures of a hurdle). A hurdle is not like a barrier or wall.
You can overcome it. “You” means both sides.
There are three ways. First, the runner will overcome the hurdle by strengthening their skills and muscles, through lots of practice. Second, allies can assist the runner to jump higher than the hurdle, by sharing personal training and mentoring, language courses, etc. Third, you, both the runner and the allies, can simply realize that what is essential, necessary and important in order for true human communication to happen is remove the hurdles. Realize that language should never be a hurdle or barrier in the first place. Language is a tool. It must serve us, not measure our worth.
Choose the Right, Perfect Meaning, over the Right, Perfect Word. (Show it in PowerPoint: Right, Perfect meaning vs Right, Perfect word.)
Increase non-verbal communication. Joy, trust, belonging.
In order to create an inclusive kitchen table, we need to ensure that
no one is under the kitchen table (like “dogs”),
no one is outside the kitchen table (exclusion),
Everyone feels they are given an equal share in creating the Dinner menu and preparing the meal itself.
To do this, there are three tasks:
1) The circle of safety (no micro-aggression, based on racism, sexism, heterosexism, ableism…
The most important task that must precede anything else in this intercultural work is creating “The circle of safety” in church (or in any organization).
Everyone needs to feel safe. Period.
2) Governance and policy must meet the high standards to encourage “equity” (not just equality.)
(Show the images of equity and equality.) Equity looks like this. It’s about looking at the potential leadership in people, and centering the voices of the traditionally marginalized to listen and to learn from their stories.
3) Practice… Practice… Practice. Please assist the runner to jump higher than the hurdles, whenever you can. AND whenever possible, be intentional in removing hurdles in the first place.
As I conclude this reflection, today, I would invite you to meet both the Syropheonician person’s experience of racism and sexism as a racialized woman, and learn with Jesus. At the end of today’s story, Jesus removes the hurdles of racial hierarchy in healing. Policy is changed to acknowledge that there is no boundary in God’s inclusive love. Jesus throws the gates of God’s mission wide open: the hurdles of patriarchy hold no ground in God’s transformative love.
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