Conversation with Children:
Who are you grateful for?
Have you ever heard anyone call grandma or grandpa by other names?
I have heard my neighbour call their grandpa, Oppa (that is grandpa, in German) because their grandpa originally came from Germany, and he is happy when his grandchild calls him Oppa!
Just like that, when I grew up, I called my grandma, Hal-mo-ny. That's a Korean word for Grandma. Yes, it almost sounds like harmony in English!
I did not like her very much. That’s how my story begins with her. Would you like to hear more?
I did not like my Halmony, because she did not treat me as equal to my other, boy cousins, or even my younger brother. For example, on New Year’s Day or Thanksgiving Day, my Halmony would give out blessing money, which is a Korean tradition. That sounds like a nice tradition, and it is, but she would give twice as much to the boys than to me! For example, my boy cousins and my brother got 10 dollars each, but when I opened my envelope, I found 5 dollars in it! I felt sad and angry at the same time.
However, over the years, I learned why she treated me as less than my boy cousins and my brother. My halmony was treated that way when she grew up.
Happily, over the years, my grandmother learned that that’s not fair and she learned to change how she treated her grandchildren. My Aunts taught my Grandma that girls and boys and all children need to know that they are equal and equally loved.
Then, when I was in grade 7, I was ill for a year. My legs became very weak, and I had many days when I was stuck in bed. At that time, she lived 5 hours away from my home. She lived in a small rural town. But when my parents told my grandma that I was ill, she took bus after bus and came all the way to the city to see me. After hours of travelling alone, she came with a bag that was full of something.
She picked all the pine needles from her hometown, (Prop: Pine needles in cloth!) and packed them in her bag. She steamed pine needles and wrapped them in cotton cloth, (Prop: like this lavender bag!) and she massaged me with the bag of warm aromatic pine needles on my legs and arms for an hour… without many words.
It was so weird, and I still have no clue what medicinal effect there was in the steamed pine needles, but I remember the smell was so good, and above anything else, I felt that she cared about me and she wanted me to know that.
My Harmony passed away a long time ago, and she is no longer with us now. Today, I remember her.
In Korea, on Thanksgiving Day, each family remembers their ancestors. Grandma, Grandpa, Great grandmother, great grandfather, relatives who passed away, relatives who are with us now, all are our ancestors.
I give thanks to God for my relationship with my Halmony, and the learning my Halmony and I shared. Every child needs to be loved and loved equally, no matter what.
On Thanksgiving Day we often ask ourselves what we give thanks for. Things that are grateful for.
I invite you today to think about who you are grateful for.
And if the person is around you, let them know that you care about them.
If the person is not with you any longer, remember them in your heart, and in your prayers.
Children’s Song
3 minute reflection to share with adults after children leave.
So, the question for us today is Who are you grateful for?
How about holding space for gratitude as a way to remember and care for your ancestors?f
You can say, ancestors are all those who have inspired you, informed or shifted your identity, and paved the way to be who you are today.
The ancestors we might remember today could be those who have already gone before us.
Children around us, around you and around me, are and will become the ancestors for the future.
Recently I had a refreshing learning experience at an Indigenous-rooted space, called Aunty Collective, about the Medicine Wheel. That fresh insight touched me deeply when the instructor Coulee explained the Medicine Wheel this way.
All around the Medicine Wheel is time and space because we don’t exist separate from the environment. The Medicine Wheel is not just a symbol; it is the way of life…
In the East space, we explore “individuality”. Who we are, our unique and authentic individuality.
The South space is where we find ourselves in relationships. Our clans, ties. Families and ancestry. Diversity, equity, systemic inequality are all located in the South space.
In the West space, the sense of who we are widens and deepens in terms of community and culture…
In the North space, we learn that we are not just here; everyone and everything is interconnected globally and trans-nationally…
Now, when we ask ourselves who we are grateful for, or would like to remember… we invite ourselves into the South space. The space of relationship…
Where diversity starts and also where systemic inequality is located as well… Like my relationship with my Halmony (grandmother).
I invite you to come to the South space in this moment.
Let us take a moment to experience being in the South space. In relationship with
the sacred fire that shapes you, informs you, changes you and your identity.
The rhythmic energy that creates and recreates life and life after life.
What do you feel? What images or sensations occur in your mind or in your body? What memories appear? (Pause)
On this Thanksgiving Sunday, one of the ways to express gratitude about life and relations is to care for our ancestors. Ancestors from the past. Ancestors for the future.
Who do you remember…
Who are you grateful for…
How will you use your gifts to care for your ancestors?
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