For any one who might be interested in reading how the last DUIM (Deepening Understanding of Intercultural Ministry) program in Toronto was a transformative one for me:
(This is an excerpt from an email I sent to somebody, this afternoon.)
(This is an excerpt from an email I sent to somebody, this afternoon.)
Just to add one more reflection on how the last week became a very transformative explorative journey for me. It was because on the third day, I learned and acknowledge that I had carried along and had had so much anger. Not only directed to Korean patriarchy and hierarchy, but also towards so many disappointments I experienced and witnessed in UCC and in Canada - centering around all things related to white privileges, etc. I also acknowledged how much pains I have had and most of times how I pretended that I have not had them. On the third day of the program, I articulated about the anger and why a certain quote from Brene Brown in the curriculum didn’t fully represent my experience. Just to sum up, I said, what is more relevant to me than fear is anger.
That articulation that I made for the first time in public was greatly appreciated by many there, but especially affirmed by a resource person, Roni Beharry, right away, and since then I was so much encouraged every time I said something. (Of course, "I believe" I did make good contribution to the first and second days, too). As a response, Roni shared with us all that the ’anger’ was exactly what she had gone through and had to bring it up for her own transformation.
I just wanted to make a point more clear about how the last week could be transformative one for me: thanks to 1) meeting with Cheryl Black - who said, “you can become the CEO, too”, 2) affirmed by Roni Beharry about my anger and 3) my acknowledgement that I had so much anger through the past 8 + years, 4) fully realizing that I have grown to be who I am now thanks to the Intercultural ministry “I” received… (Valerie Taylor and her ministry saved my life) 5) in addition to allowing myself to accept my gender identity and live out the belief about who I really am meant to be if I refuse all the internalized and societal limitations that have been placed or that I have placed on me to conform.
From P:
it would be wrong for me to comment on these self-revelations and self-affirmations, they are coming from inside you and perhaps in a jumbled way, not at all academic and organized.
what is wonderful is that you had an opportunity where these matters could surface to a conscious level where you can begin to deal with them. I am concerned about the intense effort to deal with being a Korean, woman, young, and all those things in ministry. Certainly others can throw up barriers and in not such subtle ways let you know that they see you as "other", after all you have chosen to minister in an organization that is patriarchal and misogynist to its roots - the church. You don´t need to defend your being there.
Years ago it was evident that you were a rare jewel being unwrapped, able to use your intelligence but also your great sensitivity to things in this world and relations. I still believe that the Island church lost a great deal when you moved, both of you, but you have found a place where you and the "three" boys can grow and mature.
There are things which we suppress but about which we should be very angry, being sad is an escape. Anger is the proper response to many situations, but it must lead to change. My guess Ha Na is that before this great workshop you were already dealing with some of those situations that contributed to your anger. You showed that you were willing to be authentic and not just polite, enabling yourself and others in the group to grow. Well done!
hugs little sister, apapachos (hugs from the heart), enjoy the journey! You are truly marvelous!
From R:
Anger has much to teach us and in my case it was the catalyst for the justice - making work I now engage in. The important learning for me was working through anger in a constructive way DUIM and being involved in intercultural work helped greatly. The Hermeneutical Circle really works! It is important to not get negatively stuck in an angry place. So much of the hate and violence society is the result of anger left unexamined. I am humbled to be your companion on the journey. Whatever you do create a circle of supportive companions for the journey Joy will be realized in God's time. The church is young and God is not in a hurry (One of my professors shared this wisdom with me.).
Anger has much to teach us and in my case it was the catalyst for the justice - making work I now engage in. The important learning for me was working through anger in a constructive way DUIM and being involved in intercultural work helped greatly. The Hermeneutical Circle really works! It is important to not get negatively stuck in an angry place. So much of the hate and violence society is the result of anger left unexamined. I am humbled to be your companion on the journey. Whatever you do create a circle of supportive companions for the journey Joy will be realized in God's time. The church is young and God is not in a hurry (One of my professors shared this wisdom with me.).
June 13, 2016
A flash of thought came to me just ago that who I am now - especially in ministry within UCC - could be possible thanks to the past and present strong intercultural ministry movement, momentum and leaders and churches who have saved me, guided me, empowered me, and literally raised me up all the way on the past path.
That's I can't deny.
Today, (there's no special reason for me doing this...but) a sudden feeling came to me wishing to express my deepest thanks to all those who have lifted up and sustained me and many more in a direct way and indirectly through and under the UCC intercultural ministry. I sense that I am finally free of the strange feeling of a love-hate relationship with 'intercultural ministry' I have had. I feel that I must be and become the powerful agent that develops it and enliven it in my ministry context, rather than trying to make myself distant from the proud work.
Just to name a few as my very first and most recent influences - I think I must say thank you to:
Canadian Church's Forum's DUIM programme (Deepening Understanding of Intercultural Ministry) - as the most recent support that made my transformation possible. Including Roni Beharry
West Point Grey United Church - Valerie Taylor Cheryl Black (Now in St. Aidan's, in Victoria, BC)
Also including Susan Howard whom I finally met in the past week in Toronto
I was very inspired and challenged to see that these people wholly embraced intercultural ministry as their core mission and identity of their ministry context and church leadership. They are certainly my heroes.
(I should say, as I was saved by intercultural ministry, I also must save the others with what I have greatly owed to for my 'hard' won privileges which I am now enjoying.)
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