"The Hopes and Fears of All the Years" - Christmas Eve Message, 2016

Christmas Eve message


On this night, we listen to the stories and sing the hymns, but we don’t just sing the melody; we absorb the spirit of the song. We let each word of the songs speak to us, to our hearts. These songs don’t just evaporate after each note; the words become the stars to guide us tonight. How about, ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’?

(Sing) “O little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie! Above thy deep and dreamless sleep the silent stars go by. Yet in thy dark streets shineth the everlasting light.”

Do you remember the last line? Can we sing it together quietly?
“the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.”

(Just read) The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.

These words help us to ponder the joy and struggles of both the Holy Family and our own lives.

“The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight,” because we come from all different walks and stages and situations in our lives. Some of us are in the mood to celebrate. Some of us might be having a tough time.

I hope we can remember those who spend today with families who don’t know how to love them well. Let us remember them. In God’s sight of love, they are magnificent. If that’s any of you, remember that you are whole. You are loved by our God.

Remember in your heart those who are anxious and those who pray to be hopeful. 

Some of us say that peace is not just the absence of war - it is the absence of fear. Let us remember those who are fearful. They can be family members, friends you know, or even yourself. Remember especially those in the world who can’t live a day without fear, without threat, without being hungry, without being terrified by the violence and death around them. Remember the children in Aleppo. Remember Palestine. Remember those there, and those who fled, building their lives in many lands, including ours. 

Love may not be able to conquer all, but it can be a salve - not a bomb, but balm that can hold us together in our and humanity’s brokenness.

Jesus tells us a lot of times in the Bible, “Don’t be afraid.” But do not translate that to mean that we should live with zero fear. To attempt to live, clean of fear, vacuuming out fear and what can cause fear, means we might immobilize or freeze ourselves, unable to take the necessary journey of transformation and embrace the birthing of new hope, the surprise and gift of the future – the light that is on the other side of the most necessary journey of birthing.

Remember Mary, the mother of Jesus. When the angel came to Mary and said, “Greetings, favoured one.” she didn’t respond, “You’ve got the wrong one.” She Believed.  She trusted. Mary really believed. She believed not just that she would become pregnant. If we only focus on the pregnancy as Mary’s role in the story, it’s unfortunate, because it leads us to evade the truth. We don’t remember Mary because she was pregnant. We don’t remember Mary because she’s a reminder to be obedient or a symbol of social revolution. No. We remember her because she reminds us of God’s favour. Mary believed that she was the favoured one. She believed, as told, that she’s the most loved one. That’s why Mary takes the journey that requires the courage to deal with fear. Mary believes, whatever happens, she will never be harmed. She will never be disgraced. Her fundamental self would be forever safe, solid in God. With God, she believes that she will be able to do what she needs to do, for God is Immanuel, God being with us.

Please ask, on this night, “What would our lives look like if we really believed? How would my life be different if I were not scared, if I really believe that I am fully and totally loved by God?”

Please also ask, “How is our Christmas Eve tonight nudging us to accept and re-embrace the courage that’s most needed – each act of bravery different for each of us?” And, “How would our lives be different if we humbly pray and ask God that our hopes and our fears are met in thee tonight?” You don’t need to try to become worthy of God’s love. Trust the love which is born tonight with your acceptance, and believe.



"Birthing Is Hard", the 3rd Advent Sunday sermon, 2016

Matthew 11:2-11                                Birthing is Hard
                                                     Don’t Give into anger 
                                                   On the other side is light 
                                                                  and
                                                  a weary world needs you 
                                                           Lead the Way
                                                              # Advent 


Can you guess what I am pretending to do? 

Yes. You know what this gesture is. In the morning, when I’m in bed and I have not opened my eyes yet, I reach my arm under the bed and swing it around to find my glasses… and my iPhone – first to check the time, (and then to check Facebook). This may sound very familiar to some of you, eh? These days, I do less Facebook, (good!) but only so I can do more Twitter, too. (Aww.) It’s not necessarily bad, though, if we can make balance our use of social media with engaging in life and other people with true care and real interactions. What I like about using Twitter is that the sending or receiving and reading of people’s thoughts are all made into short statements, because you can use 140 letters - maximum. Think about that. If someone asked you to make an Advent benediction or a Christmas benediction, using 140 letters or less, what would you type in into the small tweet box?

This morning, I have 119 letters to send you. 

I will choose “Birthing is hard.” as my first line.

Birthing means by definition the act or process of giving birth. 

Birthing also can mean the beginning or origin of something. 

There are times in our life when we do birthing, not only real giving birth, but being in an intense time that changes you, your role, your identity, your values. 

You change your job. You move to a new city. 
You create a new family. You start a new project in your work.  

Today, we are going to celebrate Chad for his dedication, shown by his love and work for our choir for the past 25 years. 

Birthing is not just about starting a brand new thing. All the work that is involved with change, transition, moving, reconstruction, have this component of birthing.   

I have some words to share about birthing. I really do. I had my two sons via home birth. Peace, my older one, in Korea, with a Korean midwife, and my younger son, Jah-bi, in Ladysmith, BC. In both cases, I didn’t take advantage of any medical intervention at all No laughing gas, no epidural, just me, the midwife and nature. So I can confidently tell you a few amazing facts about the raw, intense, uninterrupted process of birthing. One thing I learned is that even though birthing comes from the female body, you certainly experience the masculine power that surges through and moves the body, especially when it comes to the end: the protection, focus, control. It’s not a process of just being dependent on another person’s help. It is the process all animals go through when they are birthing. You need to have a strong sense of control of your own body, the process and the space. 10 years ago, in Korea, on May 17, when I thought I felt contractions every 5 minute and asked my husband to call the midwife to come right away, my famous, busy midwife was just finishing with another woman on the opposite side of the city. I felt so urgent, I asked my husband, “Tell her to come right now.”
The words my husband heard on the other side of the phone were, “Are the eyeglasses still on Ha Na’s face?”
“Yes.”
“You still have time. Don’t worry. But I’m coming now.” After half an hour or so, my midwife finally arrived with her students, and that was when the real contractions started. And she was right - I took off and threw away my glasses. No need of them. No need of light. No need of seeing. The birthing process is naturally supposed to be very protected, like a ‘dark cave’, a whole, beautiful and powerful time which is only about the mother, her body, what she is going through, and the baby. 

In our lives, there are times when we really have to meet a certain birthing experience. How about grief? The time after a very painful failure? Loss? Illness?  
Anger is the emotion that we feel when we perceive certain things or situations are not right with us. Anger is the right emotion we feel when we see the situations that need to change. 
Our work for justice and fairness for all people and peace in the world can be a very important birthing experience, because it expects and demands and creates the changes – the right changes - that have to be made.  
In such an intense experience of birthing – which changes us, moves us, so dramatically, with emotions, with actions, we don’t need much light from the outside – because what we really need to do in those moments is to see inside, and to know and pay attention to what we are experiencing inside. We are invited to what the mystics call “the Dark Night of the Soul”. While we are clearly aware of what is happening around us, we incubate ourselves in a special period of time and personal space for protection, focus, and control. We need the shield of dark night within the soul to really connect to what we need and what we need to know, within our soul. 

The advent benediction is more powerful when we know the meaning of what the Angel was announcing, “Hail Mary, full of grace.” The grace of light breaks into the shield of the most needed darkness. 

“Hail Mary, God’s favoured one.” 

And her resistance is the right response. We should make no judgement on that. “What sort of greeting is this?” “How can this happen to me, in my situation?” 

Birthing is hard. Sometimes birthing is unwelcome. There’s a sense of risk and danger (Mary had no husband, risking society’s condemnation, and in the old days, not all mothers survived after childbirth.). But birthing is never bad news, because there’s a promise God declares, “Immanuel,” God being with you. 

Advent means “waiting.” “Wait.”  Even in the hardest moment of unbearable sorrow, of the terrible sense of being devastated, wait. There’s the sense of ‘not yet’ – You have not yet seen the promise of the “dry land seeing the crocus blossom.” (Isaiah 35:1) 

The angel announces to Mary and to us, “Hail Mary, Hail you, full of grace” – not because her questions or our emotions – sadness, anger - are wrong, but because birthing is never bad news. Before judgement, before criticism, before blaming, before anger, before you let yourself be consumed by your thoughts and emotions, don’t be hard on yourself but wait. You are in the time of birthing. You are in the moment of God’s promising of what is yet to be seen by us: the miracle of the quiet, silent blossoming of the crocus after the rain in the desert. (Isaiah 35:1) In KJV “The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.”     

My second Tweet line after “Birthing is hard” is “Don’t give into anger.”

You are in the sacred, whole, protected moment of birthing, with the Immanuel God. 
Birthing promises a just future. Birthing promises the rainbow of reconciliation. Birthing promises loving and being loved in return. 

However hard your birthing process is, know that (now my third line) “On the other side is light.” The powerful light that is able to break into the most needed, protected shield of the dark soul so that the light dwells in it and with you. 
  
The light becomes your identity. It helps you to know who you are. It helps you to rise up again.

Birthing is hard. 
Don’t give into anger. 
On the other side is light. 
And my fourth line: “And…a weary world needs you.”

We have so much to do in the world. There is so much pain in the world, beside ours. However, it is not pain which weaves the world into becoming a new earth and a new heaven. 
It is the love and the grace, the love and the grace save the world and our lives.  

When we tell the story of the Angel’s greetings to Mary, what it really means is God favours us.  
God doesn’t just love us. God favours us. 

I believe Mary was chosen not because she was a woman, unwed, a virgin.  
Mary was chosen not because of her capability of pregnancy or because her gender role was to be reproductive. 

Mary was chosen because God favoured her. 

Birthing, for her, has the component of danger. She may not be safe, physically and socially. Yet she trusts that she’s favoured, she’s loved, and she will be safe. 

My last tweet line is “Lead the way.” 

In today’s Gospel, Jesus asks, “What did you then go out to see” (Mat 11:8) in the wilderness? 




Lead the way – God is with you. 

God being with us, the Immanuel, is the divine incarnation in the world that is in front of our eyes. You may see the snow-covered city in the midst of winter. Yet here’s the point – imagine. It is for us the whole beautiful, amazing, and thrilling presence of the cosmic Christ!

– which parallels the time of Jesus travelling and teaching in the wilderness in Judea. As much as the weary world in Palestine needed and longed for the savior to come, the weary world needs you. You are the disciple of Jesus. Lead the way. You walk with the light. Love and grace is your light. Birthing is hard, but is never bad news, because of the promise that comes with it. The promise is the brilliant colourful festival of rainbows – crocuses and roses – all the dazzling possibilities. 

Lead the way. 

Birthing is Hard
                                                     Don’t Give into anger 
                                                   On the other side is light 
                                                                  and
                                                  a weary world needs you 
                                                           Lead the Way

                                                              # Advent  (A tweet from Rev. Megan Rohrer)

Schubert and my improvisation

Hi C, 

Did I tell you that I had just begun to play the piano again, since "24 years" ago? 

Recently my family inherited an old piano from church, and I have been slowly telling people these days that I can play the piano and as I have my piano at home now I begin to enjoy it again. 

I recorded one video at home, playing Schubert. The other one is what I "improvised" on the last Sunday night at 9 pm after youth program I led. I improvised the one Just because I didn't have any music sheet with me at the time but wanted to play. 

I lost skills and accuracy but like to express my feelings and some creativity through playing the piano again.

A gift to enjoy that I found again - after 24 years! 

They are better to watch at night because, you know? One is recorded at 1 am. The other one is at 9 pm. The night’s mood ~ 

Schubert (3 mins) - 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNvA0Nv5mg4 (Click the link, if you can't watch the video below)


My improvisation (1 min) - 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUJYEhdb_N0 (Click the link, if you can't watch the video) 


I am sending these one as I was trying to upload them to my blog and thought of you. 

Ha Na

"The Big Orange Splot" and Giving - Stewardship Message, Nov 20, 2016

Message: “The Big Orange Splot” and Giving 
Text: Jeremiah 29:4-7, 9-14




(I begin with sitting on a chair on the stage)

This morning I brought with me a children’s story book, “The Big Orange Splot”, by Daniel Pinkwater.

(The screens will show the cover page and the pictures will follow, for each page of the book.) 

It’s a normal children’s book, but it’s also a message about stewardship. 


I invite all of you to feel like a child.  
Change your posture a bit. Move your arms and how you sit… Make yourself comfortable. It’s a children’s story! 
You know your favourite way to sit. Usually, it’s not the one that shows the best manners, sitting straight up. Maybe lean on the pew a little, or lean forward, to get the best view. Yeah. Mine is like ... this. :) 
Imagine now is like the beginning of your favourite show or a bedtime story. 

Now, engage with the story. As you do, find your favourite part. See which part you are most engaged with.


O.K. Here we go. 


The Big Orange Splot 


                 Mr. Plumbean says “My house is me and I am it. 
                 My house is where I like to be and it looks like all my dreams.”

Thank you for listening to the story! 

What were the parts that most engaged you and your imagination? Take a moment to think about what they were for you. 


In the story, Mr. Plumbean tells us “My house is me and I am it.” His house is where he likes to be. And it looks like all his dreams. I wonder if God might say the same things about this, the house of God, our congregation, our community. As we live out our ministry together in this neighbourhood, what might God’s dreams be, and what are your dreams to share? 


This story tells us what stewardship means. Stewardship is not just about money. Stewardship is not an impersonal thing to be calculated, like the stewardship package is mailed to your address, you read it, estimate how much you can give and you add it to your budget. You are asked to serve on certain committees of this community. Offerings and service are what we do, and they are such important work - our stewardship committee members work hard to really promote these goals - our ministry needs to be sustainable and without your help, support, and giving, very little can be done. 

Having said that, stewardship is not just giving or increasing the proportion of what you can give. Stewardship is really about finding that it is your home, your house, and God’s house. It might look like everyone else’s house right now, but you have this orange paint (show the orange paint!): Your dream. 


If you’ve come to feel that our church is your home, your house, where you can say, “This place is me, and I am it,” ‘This place is us, and we are it.’, you must feel a personal connection to this place, not just as a physical space but as your place and our place, as a vibrant community that inspires you, motivates you, and excites you to fully inhabit your miraculous, generous, giving self. This place should look like your dreams, a place where your dream is heard and joined with the dreams of others. You should feel a deep sense of connection. There should be some big orange splot that is uniquely you, and that you would love to put into this community. But it's not always easy, because the sense of feeling that you are part of some great energy,  with new meaning and renewed purpose needs a source.


Just like our lives have their ups and downs, your level of energy and sense of connection also change. Some of us might identify with being a newcomer, and you are observing, or have just begun to learn more about this community, slowly making new connections and friends, finding how you fit with our community. No matter where each of us are, there’s hope that all of us here, in our varied levels of experience and interest, give ourselves to the work of God, together. 


Giving really means being an active participant in the community. Giving means finding how you can add to the community, and learning how you would like to participate in what is most important to you. Through your kindness, generosity, and giving, God’s world becomes a better place.  


There was a time when I thought the world around me was very small and limiting; it didn’t reflect who I was and who I wanted to be, it seemed too small for the scope of my dreams. But as soon as I realized that many places in my life, work, neighbourhood, community demanded my active ‘participation’ in the world in order to make changes and be a change, the world became wonderfully and amazingly big again. That insight humbled me, motivated me, excited me and moved me to act. What I learned from this realization is that God is with us when and where we participate in the world to be creative. 


What is your orange paint? What is the colour you wish to paint? Like Mr. Plumbean in the story, there’s a very important reason why you should feel that this house, this community is you, and you live in it, and it is where you like to be. Our community will respond to your dreams, and our church would like to help you and support you with them. And to make it happen, what you can do is participate. Participating is very personal work, and you should feel that way because really participating means that you put your dreams into your/our work. You give, you uphold, you change, you create. Please let us know what would support your participation best - to dream, to open your colourful paint can, and start a meaningful dialogue. 


I would like to conclude this message with what God says in today’s reading from Jeremiah. “For sure I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope” (Jeremiah 29:11) 


Stewardship Message, Oct 23: "Paradise is a Garden. But Heaven is a City." (Ezekiel 47:1-12)

Ezekiel 47:1-12


Title: Paradise is a Garden. But Heaven is a City.
“Paradise is a garden, but heaven is a city,” Sara Miles says, in her second book, City of God: Faith in the Streets. As the founder of Food Pantry, (http://saramiles.net/food_pantry) Miles says her twenty years of living in the Mission District of San Francisco have changed her view of heaven. “For me, paradise is a garden, but heaven is a city…. I begin to see that city-ness, not necessarily prettiness, might be a characteristic sign of heaven. Sexier and more beautiful than Eden, the city of God is a crowded, busy place jammed with languages and peoples, including the ones who argue incessantly with one another. A place so mixed, so layered, and so apparently impure that it proclaims a love vaster than humans can come up with on our own.” 
I wonder how we can relate to her insight? What is, for you, the "Characteristic sign of heaven”? 
This is the question I would like to share with you this morning. Where do you see the character of the viable presence of heaven,  and what tells you if it is already here, not just waiting for us after death? When it is here - no one can ignore it. It is like a heartbeat - always present, but we may not see it or notice it in every moment. Our eyes might not catch every detail, but Jesus asks us to see things through the lens of heaven.
The city of God, the “city-ness, not necessarily prettiness”, sounds to me like  “Winnipeg-ness”. So far just a few people have told me that they LOVE Winnipeg, and what they think is the beauty of Winnipeg. Certainly there are things that make us think that our city is not necessarily pretty. Weather is just one thing - that’s what I learned from an outsider’s perspective in the past two years. Other cities in Canada can be as deeply cold as Winnipeg. Mosquitoes literally ate me and my friends and had a feast in a campsite in Edmonton. When I first told one member of my last church, David, (in his seventies and very wise) that I was applying for a church in Winnipeg, he quietly advised me, “Winnipeg? It’s a city which has traditionally experienced many hurts and still does.” I often reminisce about what he said to me when I drive down the complicated and uneasy Winnipeg downtown roads, and see the people who live there.
Winnipeg is big - it has a great story to tell about the way it has grown to be what it is. There are divides, junctions, along the highways and the rivers. People have lived here for a long time and thrived here for a long time. It is still expanding with newcomers. The current newcomers to Winnipeg are different from the newcomers of the past. Whenever I get a chance to explore new places in the city, whenever I join a new social group, I learn each time, as if it were the first, that we have many and diverse people living in our city. We already know that we are big, but if you go deeper into meeting others beyond your familiarity and close affinities, we realize that we are much bigger and even more diverse than we first thought. I am not just referring to race, ethnicity, nationality, language, immigration, refugee status, things that can be measured and analyzed into numbers and data, but more in terms of the characters, hopes, and dreams; the actions and the experiences of  real people. Diversity has a strong voice that is truly humbling and powerful.
St Vital Mall or Polo Park shopping malls are not the right places to look for a sharper sense of who we are, or to make meaningful contacts with diverse people. We can hardly be more than consumers there, visitors to a money-driven planet.  
We live in the city of God. By saying that we live in the city of God, I am not trying to erase other religions in our city or claim a colonial God, (“Everything belongs to God as God’s possession, land, people through conquer.”) I want us to see the city through the lens of heaven. In Jewish Torahs and Christian Bibles, heaven is always envisioned as city. There’s a temple and the water flowing from the sanctuary, and many peoples. The great numbers and diversity of the people are key. The authors of Ezekiel and the book of Revelation, which both describe the vision of the New Jerusalem, the New City, wrote them in their experience of exile, in diaspora. Early in the 6th century BCE, the city of Jerusalem was attacked and destroyed by the Babylonians. Many of the inhabitants of Jerusalem were taken to Babylon, (the Empire), which led to the establishment of a large Jewish community, which ended up thriving in Babylon for centuries. Ezekiel was one of the original exiles. The city of God is not composed of one kind; it is composed of diverse people’s resilience and growth.
The city is not only downtown, but where we live - the suburban South end of the city is also the city. As a suburban United Church, we have our own limits and potential. In character, we are mostly a Caucasian, middle class, liberal church. We are more protected and sheltered than people in the other parts of the city. We may choose to be complacent rather than controversial, politically and socially. Yet we definitely show the potential and signs of the character of heaven in our diversity. The first thing to notice in our community is our strength in intercultural experiences. Yes, we say that “If you are not First Nations, you are immigrants.” But I would like to point out our strength not just in terms of race, ethnicity, nationality, immigration, but more importantly, in terms of our hunger for meaningful relationship, and that need comes from all walks of life. None of us have ever crossed the threshold of the church entrance without carrying their need for deep nurture that comes from the vast love of God and the ministry of relationship. That’s what we do as a church - through Christian education, pastoral care, welcoming, greeting, outreach, fellowship, property care and other important works: We would like to let you know and let whoever we welcome, whoever we meet through our ministry know that we are no longer just our everyday 'earthly world’. Here, we are in ‘God’s world’. No one needs to journey alone.
In addition, with God, your life can’t be like stagnant water. I think that’s what today’s Bible passage is telling us - with God, your life cannot be like stagnant water. In the city of God, God never lets our life lose the viability of new hope. Notice how Ezekiel goes into great detail to show the incredible abundance of water that flows from the temple. The temple means the whole of God’s world, the whole city of God. We, as a church, are the microcosm of God that reflects the macro dynamic of God. The water is a source of nourishment for a “great many trees... For “every living creature that swarms... For very many fish.”
Think about what this water might contain that makes it so very, very nourishing. God says, “ This water flows east, descends to Arabah and then into the sea, the sea of stagnant waters. When it empties into those waters, the sea will become fresh. Wherever the river flows, life will flourish - great schools of fish - because the river is turning the salt sea into fresh water. Where the river flows, life abounds.” Then God says we are like the trees planted beside the streams of water whose ever-bearing leaves and fruit are for healing and food.
Our Stewardship committee asked us last summer “What does stewardship mean to you?” and encouraged us to share our answers. Please know that we are still welcoming your insights and thoughts. My own definition of stewardship is that it is asking and responding to the question, "Can I give small pieces of my heart for others - because I care? What means do I have to do it?”  Can we grow leaves and fruits in faith and give them for healing and food for others, “For healing of the nations", modelling Jesus, the Bread of Life?

The character of the viable presence of heaven with us, in our church, is that we trust the strength of the diversity of God’s people, and we work hard for the healing of the world and meeting the hungers of the people. With God, we can’t just be stagnant water. In the city of God, we have work to do. We are the micro city of God, the micro world of God. The work of the people for the people of God should never be a lonely job and it will not be; we pool our common hopes, dreams, wisdom, experiences, time and wealth together to forge a bigger chain of God’s vast love through the ministry of relationship. ‘Relationship’ is our mission field, our vocation. 

May we all know that we are loved, more than we can ever imagine. In the city of God, everyone is part of the tree of life that bears fruit. As 1 Corinthians affirms, the greatest fruit of the Spirit, the greatest fruit of all, is love. That love, vaster than just us, impels us to see the character of the sign of God’s work, the presence of heaven - viable and indeed visible. Let us become part of love’s heartbeat.



Prayer of Dedication
O God, river of life, river run free...

Hymn
River Running in You and Me MV 163


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